It’s Thursday. *Almost there*.
First thing’s first. THANK YOU *so* much to the Bestest Friend for the surprise Book that was delivered to my house yesterday!! It was SO nice!! Really made my day (my week??). It was just the most thoughtful gesture!! Can’t wait to read it. 🙂 xx
This morning started rather roughly too as I burned my hand while pouring boiling water into my coffee plunger. Luckily, it’s only red and sore. Could have been far worse! Let’s hope the rest of the day goes more smoothly.
Later, took the kids to school with Lily. It was cold, but pretty sunny. Love it when the Forest is quiet with no one else in it. It’s so relaxing. Also great not to have to worry about Lily wanting to play/jump on anyone. So perfect!
The drawback of living in society is clearly all the people around. I personally don’t feel like talking in the morning or having to manage the dog (making detours so she won’t annoy anyone) on our walk. Sometimes, I really wish we lived somewhere in the Country far from everyone else. Hence why I love the Forest so much! Even though it’s tiny!
I can almost understand why some people get up Massively early to avoid the crowds. Seems attractive right now!
The most annoying thing about Society is the fact that most people that come up to me daily usually want something. They either want a favour or complain. I rarely have people turn up just to genuinely ask ‘how are you’. I mean, people will ask, but they don’t actually want you to tell them something other than “Good, you?”. Though I sometimes do the small talk to be nice, because it’s expected, generally speaking I can’t be bothered most days.
The reason for it? A large number of the people I’ve met around here so far have been rather disappointing. I’m sure I’ve told you about the neighbour calling us “stupid immigrants” because I wanted to plant Fennel in my Garden (which some kiwis see as a weed apparently..).. or another one, mocking my accent… or yet another one, calling me a “Stupid-American-Trump-Lover” (I kid you not!) because I asked him very politely twice to remove his dog from mine (his giant pitbull was pinning Lily down and she didn’t like it…).
I’ve had to deal with comments like those more times than I care to mention or remember over the years, hence why I prefer the Hermit life over any other.
Skipping ahead, I’m reminded of something Oprah and Gale talked about in an interview about their friendship once. Gale was saying how broke she was when she first met Oprah, who at the time made a lot of money already. Oprah took a handful of cash out of her pocket and offered it to her friend to help her out. Gale, who was so broke she could barely pay her rent, turned her down while thanking her. Both Oprah and Gale agreed that if Gale had accepted the money, it would have changed the nature of their friendship and they would probably not be where they are today.
Interesting to think about, right?
In the past, I’ve been surrounded by Takers. I’m sure my Bestest friend knows exactly whom I’m referring too. This person was always broke and ‘expected’ me to fork out for them all the time. It cost me a fortune in Emotions, let alone money, before the friendship ended. That said, it did teach me many good lessons.
These days, I notice rather quickly the nature or direction a newly formed relationship is taking. I am absolutely not looking to repeat the past. While some people are incredibly generous, kind, friendly, others are constantly expecting to be given things or are asking for favours. It is especially revealing when there is no true relationship behind it to back it up.
That said, I’ve learnt to trust my intuition. When there’s something not quite right, I don’t need to go investigate what that thing is. Whether circumstances or people. If I’m interested in someone, I contact them, email them, message, something. I open the door to the possibilities. When I’m not really interested, I politely avoid. When they don’t let me avoid, I speak up.
Just recently, I’d been thinking about someone who ‘appeared’ friendly enough, but I just didn’t have a good feeling about it. This person tries very hard to convince others that their life is perfect. They must have repeated it to me at least three times so far in the short period of time I’ve known them.
That said, it doesn’t take much observation to see how it isn’t really so. Well,.. Destiny has it that recently, as they thought I was looking away, I saw them give me the most unfriendliest look. Shocking? No, amusing, as I had just wished them a Good morning when that look was revealed – justifying every intuition I had previously experienced.
In time, people’s true nature always comes out. Always. Being introverted, introspected, quiet with a serious face on, is always misconstrued as being unfriendly – which really is not the case. We *select* our friends. We “choose” who we want to spend time with, because we’re happy and comfortable being on our own. Solitude is not Loneliness. We don’t need company, though at times, it can be very much welcomed.
There are people I would love to see more often, miss terribly, or would enjoy to finally meet! So Many I love unconditionally, most of them being my Childhood/College/Uni friends, past coworkers, some of my extended family…and of course my bestest NZ friend. Many of them would probably be surprised at the depth of my attachment to them.
And so, I advise you, as much as I advise myself, to Trust your intuition, Gut-Feelings, and first impressions. They are rarely wrong.