Are you an Island or a Bridge?

Dear you,

Hope you’re happy and well!  I’m great, so happy it’s the school holidays!  Don’t have much planned for them (YAY!), except some walks, visits to the library, and of course Anna’s 11th birthday (Double YAY!)!!

The last few days, I’ve been Cardmaking.  When I craft, it feels almost like doing meditation, where you can really disconnect with everything and just focus on the task.  Also, other times, it’s a great opportunity to really think about everything.

Yesterday, I was thinking about my relationships with some people and it really brought home the concept of Bridges and Islands.  Before mom’s passing, I used to be in ‘contact’ with a lot of family members.  I realized that mom was a “Bridge”.  She made people communicate between each other, she would organize family meetings, call people up to find out how they are, etc.  She brought the family together.  She was Clearly a Bridge.

After her passing, the relationships that weren’t naturally connected fell apart into separate Islands.  I am my own Bridge with those I love, clearly.. and those that love me naturally ‘bridge’ towards me too.  They write me, call, etc.

This year, as I’m making cards (which cost a fortune to send internationally!!), I decided to just leave those ‘Islands’ be.  The ones I used to be Bridged to by mom (forcefully), I’m letting go of officially this year.

Cardmaking made me realize how many of those ‘forced’ relationships we have in our life through “Bridges”.  Some “Bridges” force people together, which in some instances can be great, when they offer unification opportunities between people that love each other but just ‘forget’ to communicate because they’re too busy, etc.  I’m thinking about a Cousin that does that a lot, organize family parties, etc.  She’s a wonderful Bridge.

Then there are the Bridges that are forced Negatively, between people that don’t get along.  Those are really only Temporary until the Bridge is gone, like my mom.  All those relationships that I never wanted, but had forced down my throat, left with her.

Unless you actively cultivate positive relationships, once the Bridge is gone, so will those relationships (Thankfully, in some cases).  The problem is that a lot of people take for granted those Bridges, and what they do for them.  Often times, people that are more of the Island type (as I am myself), can tend to feel very Entitled.  I have someone in mind who feels they can say and do whatever they like, because the Bridge will always Force the Islands together.

In life, at almost 40, I realize how immature and destructive that way of thinking is.  Especially after losing the Main Bridge of my life.

The fact that we share our Island with other people means there will be need to compromise, adapt, accept unconditionally various Bridges and connective Islands – until and unless – they become destructive and only/mainly bring chaos to the home.

On the one hand, I think to myself that I really need to “Actively” invest time and Positive Energy in those relationships I WANT to keep once the Bridge is gone and they are no longer ‘forced'(?) to be connected to me.  And on the other hand, I try to remain Zen with the relationships that are clearly only Temporary, and that will leave with the fallen Bridges, unless they blossom unexpectedly.

Some people in my life are clearly Unifiers, wanting everyone to get along – for better and for worse: they are Bridges.  Then, there are people who are happily living within their bubble, peacefully, in Organized Solitude (which can mean Together with others, where everyone in doing their own thing harmoniously, like two people reading side-by-side): they are Islands.

That said, everyone is an Island and a Bridge alternatively depending on the situation and the people they encounter, but generally speaking there are very clear tendencies (as some people can’t stand to be alone, and others, be in a crowd).

So, yeah, it’s something to think about: Are you a Bridge or an Island?  What will be left in your Life once the main Bridges are gone?

 

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