New Beginnings

Good morning!

Hope you’re happy and well!  I am!  Tomorrow is my Doctor’s appointment where I’ll *finally* know what’s going on with my Thyroid.  I’m really looking forward to it, to just knowing, and fixing ‘it’.  Whatever ‘it’ is.  So, very happy (and a little nervous) indeed!

Apart from that, I’m good.  Have been busy with all sorts of fun stuff that keeps me busy!  Mainly though, I’ve been reading a storm.. and puzzling.  🙂  I should really get back into Cardmaking and get the last of the Christmas cards done so that I can tidy the lounge already!! ahah

That said, everything is just going well now.  I completely tidied all my interpersonal loose ends, losing all my extra weight, spending my time creating Art, Reading, Puzzling, as well as just sharing moments with my little beautiful family.  Life is just finally good!

Hence I’m really very hopeful about tomorrow.  Can’t wait to have it all behind me once and for all (even if that implied medication for the rest of my life) – as everything will be *sorted*.

It really does feel like an entire *New* beginning.  Even Spring is on its way (in another week and a few days?) and it’s the New Moon too!!  I couldn’t be happier!!

Sending you lots of Joyful Love!

xxx

Letting go.

Dear you,

Hope this finds you happy and well.  I’ve been going through a lot recently, but I think starting the New Moon, I’ll be turning a new corner.

I was talking today with one of my mom’s closest friend.  She’s incredibly wise, kind, caring, and I’m so lucky to have her.  She said something to me that really hit home: Stop begging for love.

Brutal Beautiful Truth.

I’ve spent my entire life trying to convince some people to love me (so many of them!).. while I could have just been Appreciating in blissful happiness the Love I was receiving.

I would say I “wasted” too many years trying to be accepted, liked, and loved, but.. trying to ‘fix’ things isn’t a waste, because the pain, the challenges, help you grow and become who you are today.  For that, I’m grateful.

That said, I’m done apologizing for being Me.  I’m letting go.  Unapologetically letting go.

Sorry.

(I am Canadian, after all..)

The Shape of Fear

Man feeling freedom on open sea

Good morning, You.

Hope this finds you Happy and Well.

I’ve decided today to tell you about something I’ve been going through for the past few months, though it started in reality 2 years ago.

I decided to share my experience, because if it can Help someone else, then it gives it Purpose.

A few months ago, I discovered a ‘lump’ in my throat.

What you’re thinking or feeling now, imagine this a million times more intense – especially after losing my mother in a time span of 6 months between finding out and the End.

So, yes.  I discovered a lump, and the very next day I went to the Doctor’s.  I didn’t Wish it away, I didn’t sit there worrying, though I was absolutely petrified.  With my hands shaking, I called to see my Doctor.

You know how they say you can see your Entire life pass by in a fraction of a second?  It’s true.  Between the moment I realized something wasn’t right and going to the Doctors, I lived and died a million times over.  I imagined all the possibilities and felt devastated, paralyzed.  That night, I couldn’t eat a bite or actually get off the couch.

The next day, I saw the Doctor and she didn’t seem overly concerned. (??)  She told me I needed to see a Thyroid Specialist, gave me a blood test sheet, and told me that “whatever” this is.. it’s manageable.

I should have felt Relieved.  I didn’t.  Why not?  Because I was pretty much Reliving the Nightmare I had gone through a year and a half ago with and through my Mom:  a Complete lack of Control.

My biggest fear in life is being “Blindsided” and it has made me Hypervigilent.  I’ve learnt from early on to be a keen Observer to avoid Pain.  So, when I found a lump ‘out-of-nowhere’, it was once again, a Massive down-spiralling shock.

I can talk about it now, because I finally have an appointment set with the Specialist and will finally ‘know’ what’s going on.  That said, all things Thyroid (unless you have a very quick growing lump…which I do not, thank God..) are ‘Manageable’ – with Meds or operations and what-nots.  I’m not going to Die from this.

It took me 3 months to get this Appointment, because after studying my Blood tests and (lack of?) symptoms, the Doctor felt I was the Lowest Priority.  So, I’m going to Trust her.  Thrust Life… not to Blindside me again.

Trust is definitely not something I give lightly, if at all.  Before Mom, I always thought that I could ‘Solve’ everything.  It wasn’t until her illness, but not really that, but my First Ever experience with Bureaucracy (or should I say: BureauCraSSy), that I realized sometimes you really aren’t going to get your way and find a Satisfying Solution, that the Only Solution there is to find is: Acceptance.

Acceptance sounds Passive – like you’re not doing anything, you’ve given up – when really, it’s not the case.  Accepting Reality takes Effort, especially when it’s not Reflecting your Wishes.  When you realize that what you really want, you will not be able to make happen, it takes Courage – not to admit defeat, but to Accept that Life has different plans for you than you had for yourself.

Mom suffered from Hypothyroidism from the age of 40 onward.  I’m 38.  It’s a Condition or Susceptibility that is Inherited – which doesn’t always manifest itself, but apparently can – after a Trauma or ongoing Stress.  Many things can make the Condition appear.  I may or may not have this.  It may just be an unfriendly Nodule or a million different things.  Who knows.  I’m not in Control of ‘what it is’.

What I am in Control of, though, is how I choose to weather this storm.  It’s a Challenge to remain (Find my) Calm while at the Heart of Uncertainty, juggling Hope with Fear of Blindsidedness.

It’s during moments like these, that you really see who and what is important to you.

The Fear strips back all that is Superficial and really Exposes what Truly matters.  It reminds you that you have no Time to waste on petty arguments, or trying to ‘convince’ people of anything.  Those you love and that love you unconditionally are the only people that Matter.

So, whatever happens from here, I See very clearly now ‘why’ *everything* had to happen the way it did.

Pain and Fear are Powerful Teachers.  They tell you Your Brutal/Empowering Truths and Liberate you from Everything that is Unnecessary for you to Carry around.

Fear Throws you in the Deep End and if you don’t Let Go of that Baggage, that Luggage you’ve been carrying around for who knows how long, you’re simply going to drown.  Let go of it all, and Swim or better yet, Float.  You might as well take in the View of the Stars while you’re there, because it’s only really when you’re Flat on your Back that you get to see the ‘entire’ night sky.

With all my love,

xxx

Update, Dreams & Astral Projections

Cloud Computing and Nature Concept

Good morning!

Hope you’re doing well.  I’ve been taking a small break from the Internet (mostly just checking my emails, etc and then leaving again).

I’m SO glad it’s almost the weekend, and then, the school holidays!  Winter is always so long!!  As much as I actually enjoy the rain (as there’s less people around), I tend to get over the Greyness rather quickly!

Anyway, today’s the Parent-Teacher Conferences (BOO!) and the Food Delivery (YAY!).  I decided to order a day earlier to balance things out.

I’ve been reading a lot this week.  I put my hands on an *amazing* book about OBE’s – can’t remember the exact title now, but if you check out my Goodreads’ page or my FB, you’ll see it.

Anyway, if you remember reading about my dream where someone was helping me change my Vision.. well, I actually read *exactly* what that was about.  Meaninful coincidence??  Anyway, apparently there are helpers that are actually there to help us acheive access to our Mentalsoma from our Psychosoma (which I had no idea about honestly).  So, yeah.. it described/explained perfectly what I went through.  It was almost Surreal.

Since then, this week.. I’ve had 2 other very odd ‘dreams’/Astral Projections (with the minimum lucidity).  Basically, one of them was about my uncle that’s passed away many years ago.  I’ve always found it odd that he never visited me.. but eventually, I had to let it go and just move on.  Anyway, I dreamt of him maybe once or twice is 3-4 years’ish?

This week though.. I actually *saw* him.  I found myself ‘dreaming’ that I was sitting at a table with him eating cake (lol) when suddenly, he asked me if I was sad.  At that moment, for some reason, it clicked that he had passed away and I was in an OBE.  I told him that of course I was sad that he had passed away/transitioned, because he was like a father to me, etc.  Then, before I could finish he shook his head.

I stopped talking.. and suddenly I had all these pictures in my mind.  It was very clear to me that he was sending me telepathically images of what he meant: If I was sad that he hadn’t taught me more about Astrology and all sorts of Mystical themes that he apparently knew about.  I had no idea how much he knew about these things until I saw it in my mind.  Anyway, the experience lasted a little longer and then, I told him I had to go and woke up.

This.. is also one of the very obvious signs to me in the difference between dreams and OBE’s.  I *usually* get to say ‘goodbye’ before I wake up during an OBE.. except once, where I got Spooked and the high level of emotion woke me up.

The second moment this week that I spontaniously woke up in my dream.. with perfect awareness had to do with mom.  This one though, I’ll keep to myself.  It wasn’t the most amazing encounter or the cheeriest.

It seems to me that when you transition, you do so with whatever baggage you were carrying at the time of your passing.  It’s not because you’re on the other side that you suddenly resolve everything.

I used to think that people suddenly gained incredible insight and peace, etc, but that’s not a give-in.  It looks to me, after all my experiences, that it’s really a case-by-case situation.  Some people do transition and remember who they are (the sum of all their incarnations), but others do not.  Some just carry from one incarnation to the next some blocages or .. just a minimum of remembrance of who they were.

Anyway, I could go on for longer about it, but it might make the post too long.  That said, it seems that when you transition there are moments of higher lucidity than others.  I’ve met people on the other side that seemed stuck in repetitive patterns.  At least, during my conversation with mom, she seemed to be working through her issues with ‘someone’.  That’s a comfort at least.

July Goals

Good morning, you!  It’s Saturday.  YES!  So so SO happy about it!  Matt’s at work sadly, so that means that I have the house mostly to myself, as the kids enjoy playing in their rooms.

Having the house to myself means LOUD. It means, I get to watch my Shows or listen to music without earphones on.  🙂  I get to do that during the week too (obviously) as I have 6 hours to myself every day, but.. surprisingly, the week is mostly devoted to ‘work’.

I’ve been asked SO many times: What do you do all day??  Doesn’t it get boring??  Uhm.  No?  Never boring.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt bored at home in my entire life!  I mean, I grew up as an Only child.. so I’m used to the Quiet.. and I mostly prefer it.

Also, after all the chores and computering (checking my emails, Fb, etc.), I like to read.  I either read fiction or.. I study.  What do I study?  I study things that interest me: Psychology, Religion, Philosophy, and all the Great Mysteries.  I also watch HEAPS of Documentaries.

Among my favourite topics obviously are Dreams, which I study especially through C.G. Jung, then there’s Astral Projection, Life After Death (including After Death Communication, and Near Death Experiences), and also all the Esoteric topics (from Astrology,… to the Kabbalah).  And that’s what I do All day, every day, since I’ve moved to NZ.

In between, I have hobbies (Cardmaking, Colouring, Playing the Piano, Knitting, Gardening, etc).  I could never be bored.  I actually don’t have enough time to do everything I want to do.  In reality, after I’ve done the Chores and the other things I feel I ‘should’ be doing.. there isn’t really a lot of time left.  Though I do realize have a lot more time than most.

I can’t help but think that this.. my life.. is pretty much my Destiny (MC) in Capricorn.  It’s one of Solitude and Study.  That said, My Sun, Mercury, as well as my Destiny’s Master – Saturn.. are all happily sitting in Virgo in house 5 (the house of the Arts, Creation – therefore also our Children).  And there you have it.  Very grossely explained mind you, but yes..  It just gives you an idea.

Every beginning of the month, I like to think about what I’m going to do – accomplish – for the next 30’ish days.  I like to set myself some goals.  This month, I’m going to study Astrology.  Mainly, I want to study my kids’ birthcharts.  As well as mine.  I also want to do the Birth and Death chart comparison for my mom.  I want to see what I can notice/discover.

I’m also planning on studying more of the Kabbalah, as well as read about Abraham.  For some reason, during my mother’s Transitional Journey I was having many Judaic dreams.  I might get back to that in a different blog entry.  As I’m sure you’ve noticed I could write all day.. as that’s really one of my favourite hobbies as well.. and tend to run them long, I know!

Kabbalah - Tree of Life photo TreeofLifeKabbalah.jpg

What can I say, I used to talk to mom about all this for an hour a day every day over the phone (for 10 years!).  It was especilly interesting because she would talk back. ahah

Oh and by the way, I lost a little bit of weight again this month (though disappointingly not very much)! Only 1.1kg for June for a grand total of 11kg lost.  Better than nothing!

Enjoy your day! Talk to you soon:)

xx

 

Trust yourself!

Good morning!

It’s Thursday.  *Almost there*.

First thing’s first.  THANK YOU *so* much to the Bestest Friend for the surprise Book that was delivered to my house yesterday!!  It was SO nice!!  Really made my day (my week??).  It was just the most thoughtful gesture!!   Can’t wait to read it.  🙂  xx

This morning started rather roughly too as I burned my hand while pouring boiling water into my coffee plunger.  Luckily, it’s only red and sore.  Could have been far worse!  Let’s hope the rest of the day goes more smoothly.

Later, took the kids to school with Lily.  It was cold, but pretty sunny.  Love it when the Forest is quiet with no one else in it.  It’s so relaxing.  Also great not to have to worry about Lily wanting to play/jump on anyone.  So perfect!

The drawback of living in society is clearly all the people around.  I personally don’t feel like talking in the morning or having to manage the dog (making detours so she won’t annoy anyone) on our walk.  Sometimes, I really wish we lived somewhere in the Country far from everyone else.  Hence why I love the Forest so much!  Even though it’s tiny!

I can almost understand why some people get up Massively early to avoid the crowds.  Seems attractive right now!

The most annoying thing about Society is the fact that most people that come up to me daily usually want something.  They either want a favour or complain.  I rarely have people turn up just to genuinely ask ‘how are you’.  I mean, people will ask, but they don’t actually want you to tell them something other than “Good, you?”.  Though I sometimes do the small talk to be nice, because it’s expected, generally speaking I can’t be bothered most days.

The reason for it?  A large number of the people I’ve met around here so far have been rather disappointing.  I’m sure I’ve told you about the neighbour calling us “stupid immigrants” because I wanted to plant Fennel in my Garden (which some kiwis see as a weed apparently..).. or another one, mocking my accent… or yet another one, calling me a “Stupid-American-Trump-Lover” (I kid you not!) because I asked him very politely twice to remove his dog from mine (his giant pitbull was pinning Lily down and she didn’t like it…).

I’ve had to deal with comments like those more times than I care to mention or remember over the years, hence why I prefer the Hermit life over any other.

Skipping ahead, I’m reminded of something Oprah and Gale talked about in an interview about their friendship once.  Gale was saying how broke she was when she first met Oprah, who at the time made a lot of money already.  Oprah took a handful of cash out of her pocket and offered it to her friend to help her out.  Gale, who was so broke she could barely pay her rent, turned her down while thanking her.  Both Oprah and Gale agreed that if Gale had accepted the money, it would have changed the nature of their friendship and they would probably not be where they are today.

Interesting to think about, right?

In the past, I’ve been surrounded by Takers.  I’m sure my Bestest friend knows exactly whom I’m referring too.  This person was always broke and ‘expected’ me to fork out for them all the time.  It cost me a fortune in Emotions, let alone money, before the friendship ended.  That said, it did teach me many good lessons.

These days, I notice rather quickly the nature or direction a newly formed relationship is taking.  I am absolutely not looking to repeat the past.  While some people are incredibly generous, kind, friendly, others are constantly expecting to be given things or are asking for favours.  It is especially revealing when there is no true relationship behind it to back it up.

That said, I’ve learnt to trust my intuition.  When there’s something not quite right, I don’t need to go investigate what that thing is.  Whether circumstances or people.  If I’m interested in someone, I contact them, email them, message, something.  I open the door to the possibilities.  When I’m not really interested, I politely avoid.  When they don’t let me avoid, I speak up.

Just recently, I’d been thinking about someone who ‘appeared’ friendly enough, but I just didn’t have a good feeling about it.  This person tries very hard to convince others that their life is perfect.  They must have repeated it to me at least three times so far in the short period of time I’ve known them.

That said, it doesn’t take much observation to see how it isn’t really so.  Well,.. Destiny has it that recently, as they thought I was looking away, I saw them give me the most unfriendliest look.  Shocking?  No, amusing, as I had just wished them a Good morning when that look was revealed – justifying every intuition I had previously experienced.

In time, people’s true nature always comes out.  Always.  Being introverted, introspected, quiet with a serious face on, is always misconstrued  as being unfriendly – which really is not the case.  We *select* our friends.  We “choose” who we want to spend time with, because we’re happy and comfortable being on our own.  Solitude is not Loneliness.  We don’t need company, though at times, it can be very much welcomed.

There are people I would love to see more often, miss terribly, or would enjoy to finally meet!  So Many I love unconditionally, most of them being my Childhood/College/Uni friends, past coworkers, some of my extended family…and of course my bestest NZ friend. Many of them would probably be surprised at the depth of my attachment to them.

And so, I advise you, as much as I advise myself, to Trust your intuition, Gut-Feelings, and first impressions.  They are rarely wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gossip Girl

A happy good morning from Siberia!

Had another interesting journey last night!  This time, I might not go into details, because it’s my least favorite Dream Theme!  The symbolism is basically about my fear of abandonment.  I guess even though I’m secure in my relationship & my meaningful friendships, after losing mom the theme is probably subconsciously on my mind.

Then again, lots of things are on my mind these days, every day, since forever.  Nothing new there.  I’ve always spent (way too much?) time thinking about people, their motivations or what makes them tick,  and Life – especially Life – its meaning, what comes after.  That’s *always* been me.  I think I started asking questions the moment I learnt to talk.

The one thing I love about growing older is how clearer things get: you gain so much perspective and understanding as the experiences add up.

People are just not that creative: whether specific individuals (most people reproduce what they know and very rarely change – unless something drastic happens to them like an Illness, an Accident – something ‘big’), or Archetypal Humans (as a Species).  As you age, it gets easier to recognize behavioural trends.

No one’s behavior is entirely black or white – good or not, we adapt to circumstances, people, and act differently around them, but there are certainly general tendencies within each of us: whether they’re learnt or inherited.

It kind of reminds me of ‘Gossip’.  How ‘Gossip’ could be seen as a General thing people do.. but really depending on who does it, and what the intrinsinc or extrinsinc motivation is found behind it, it will completely change its nature.

Some people like to Gossip for example to be Funny, make others laugh.  Maybe another does it just for the sheer tongue wag entertainment factor.  Or to make themselves sound important, in-the-know, interesting.  That sort of ‘Gossip’ – Gossiper – is mostly harmless in my opinion.  Though it would be better to imagine ourselves as the subject of the Gossip first, and think about how we would feel if we were at its center.

The other kind, on the other hand, is very destructive.  Some Gossip is about inflicting pain.  It’s a form of bullying.  Someone will hear something about someone else, unflattering or the like, and ‘choose’ to perpetuate it by either sharing it with their peers/family or go directly to the person, whom the gossip is about, and tell them about it.

Firstly, Socrates 3 Rules comes to mind: Is it True?  Is it Useful?  Is it Kind?

Well, it’s *never* kind to perpetuate unflattering or hurtful information.  Never.  And therefore, doing so, says a lot about the ‘Gossiper’.

Those Gossipers might attempt to justify themselves by saying things like: “It’s always better to know” or.. “Don’t shoot the Messenger” as though the pain they just inflicted you – because it may have ‘first’ been spoken by someone else – has nothing to do with them.

Absolutely rubbish.  It is their Choice to either let the Negativity dissipate here and now, or perpetuate it.  They take satisfaction in repeating (and usually with some distortion or exaggeration) the message.  They have a Purpose in doing so.  Always, without exception, an Unkindly one at that.

So, yes.  The same action can mean so many things, but not infinitely so.  There are only so many possibilities to meanings behind actions.

Dr Phil says: People do what Serves them.  People that throw mud, never come out of it clean.  It just never brings luck to cause sufferance to others.

Sometimes, the only Success you can have is “Letting Go”.  Letting go of what’s been said, as well as letting go of the Person saying it.

Other times, Being Left is the Best thing that could happen to you.  It’s basically Destiny telling you you’ve learnt what you needed to learn.  You’re done.  So, don’t look back.

Keep moving forward.  Find the Kindness.  Be..the Kindness others are Searching for.  Get out of the Mud.  Cultivate Honey.  Bring Light and Joy to your Life and be the Light for others to Rejoice in.  Stop worrying.  Life is predictable.  Things may suck right now, but guess what?  “This too shall pass”.  Tomorrow is a different day.  Things will be better.  If not, then maybe the next.  Or the one after that.

x

 

 

Exploding Spiders

Hiya!

How are you doing today?  Cold enough for you?  Might as well be living in Antarctica (okay, might be a ‘slight’ exageration to that.. but barely!) lol

Had such weird dreams again last night!  You wouldn’t believe it.

I dreamt of an uncle I haven’t heard from in ‘ages’.  He was sleeping in a bed and I was standing next to it.  Suddenly, a saw a tarantula sized walking wool spider.  As I tried to shoo it away, I looked up at the ceiling onto which was a ‘nest’ of spiders with them crawling around.

I backed into my bedroom with Anna (who appeared out of nowhere) and was helping me block the bottom of the door so they wouldn’t creep in.  I turned around and realized an Entire wall was missing.. and we were in fact standing outdoors.  When I walked out of the room I saw there were hundreds of different sized and different coloured wool spiders crawling towards me.  They were all watching my next move.  Then, I shouted something and lifted my hands to scare them away, but instead fire exploded on to them and destroyed most of them!  And then, I woke up.

Good times!

Every night is like this.. so incredibly insane!  The symbology of this dream is basically that I’ll overcome insurmontable/innumerable difficulties that are draining me.

I guess we’ll be getting our Washing Machine fixed this week?? lol  Yep.

Picture by CavementWorld.com

Our machine broke yesterday.  So annoying!  Thankfully, I’m no stranger to handwashing things as this is the second time with this machine and incalculable times with the previous one.  Gah!  We need something more reliable,.. like a big Rock.

If you dream of Crocodiles and Spiders, well.. Spoiler alert, you will NOT have a great week.  It really doesn’t matter what you do, Sh*t will happen.  That said, if you get Off the Boat or set the Spiders aflame, you have nothing to worry about and have to trust that things will just work themselves out.

Just wish mom was there to discuss this with.  She’d know Best.

Also, watched ‘The Gift’ (2017) and loved it.  Was so good!

Now, I’m reading The Clairvoyants which is about a woman seeing ghosts.. which is also pretty good so far!

Thank God for Hobbies and Distractions!

Write back later.

xx

 

Soul Sisters

Dear you,

How are you?  How was your weekend?  Mine was pretty good!  Matt and I ended up Puzzling together over a Ravensburger all weekend.  Was nice.

Today’s been mostly good so far.  Met a weird man in the forest with the kids this morning though, and saw him again as I was returning home.  He was just standing around in the bush doing nothing…and the first time we bumped into him he appeared to be ‘leaving’ it.  So, a little creepy.  Can’t say I care too much anymore with Lily by my side.  Everytime we bump into a dodgy person or someone I’m not a fan of, she becomes very protective.  I wouldn’t want to be on her wrong side!

That said, I had the weirdest dream last night.  I dreamt of mom again, but not an OBE, just a symbolic one.  I dreamt that we were moving in together in a really beautiful new house.  Usually, when I dream of her there’s conflicts from unresolved past issues, but not this time.  It was the very first time that the dream sequence actually went forward.  The house was bright, with lots of light in it, and just very beautiful.  Mom and I were both unpacking our things and putting them all together harmoniously within the space we had.

Oh, and another good news is that my Parent-teacher meetings are actually next week.  So there’s at least that!

I also just finished a book called “Spirit Sisters” which was about Ghosts: ADCs (After Death Communications), Hauntings,.. It was actually really interesting, though I didn’t learn anything new from it.  I’ve had more than my share of strange occurrences in the past.  I don’t mean just in Montreal, because most of my old friends know about those, but in NZ also.  I can’t count how many times I’ve had ghostly encounters anymore.

As an example, this one time I was late at night brushing my teeth in the bathroom with the door ajar.  I bent down to rinse when I saw from the corner of my eye a small girl figure move next to me.  I went to turn around to tell Anna to go back to bed as it was way past her bedtime.  Well, when I looked, there was no one there.  I went to Anna’s room and she was sound asleep.  That said, I had seen a ‘figure’ very clearly, as well as the movement of her going past me from the door to my back.

Another time, I was asleep in bed when I heard small feet making the floorboards crack.  I half opened my eyes and saw ‘Anna’ walking towards me while watching me closely.  I told her to go back to bed, as I was sitting up to walk her back into her room.  I put my glasses on and there was no one there.  The bedroom door was shut.   I got up and walked to Anna’s room where I found her fast asleep.

And another time, I was dozzing off when I felt the mattress go down under someone’s weight.  I thought one of the kids couldn’t sleep and wanted to cuddle between mom and dad.  I put my hand down to pat their heads, but my hand went right through.

On and on and on and on and on.. I could tell you about this.  I don’t know if the small girl (who would probably be around 8 years old dressed in a white nightgown) is the only one around, because for a while.. there was also a ‘woman’.  That one spooked me a bit more, because I would mostly see her walking around outside the windows on the property.  Every time I saw her, I jumped, because it was so unexpected as our front gate is always locked.  That said, thankfully, she never ventured into the house.

Also for a very short while, there was a little boy around – though I would probably say he was around 4 or so.  He was only very shortly here.  He was the one I tried to pat the head of in bed that ‘one’ time.  Though I’m fairly sure he’s also the one I’ve felt the small fingers of on my hair to pat me.. or touching my toes (which always stick out from the blanket).  His ghost made me sad as I could feel he was looking for his mum.

Anyway, I could tell you stories all day (or would you rather I tell them at night? 😉  .. )  I’ve always been a Sensitive to these things and other phenomena, but the interesting part to me now is that my children have inherited it.

The Ghost Girl I told you about?  Anna started seeing her at around 3 years old.  She used to cry and be frightened of the ‘girl’ in her room.  The girl that sat with her toys in a corner of her room or hide in the ‘closet’ when I came in.  It was like this for ‘years’ until Anna grew up and just stopped ‘seeing’ because it frightened her.

Sami also ‘sees’.  He used to talk to me for hours about the Multi coloured spheres that came at night to protect him.  They ‘spoke’ to him, but he said it wasn’t ‘words’ but feelings and pictures in his mind.  He said he was frightened of the ‘black spheres’ or the ‘black shadow’ that would venture into his room sometimes.

Again, in time, he stopped mentioning it, but he’s very much a Sensitive.  He’s a Scorpio rising Sagittarius (with his planets being in water houses).. while Anna is my little Cancer girl rising Libra.  Though Anna is a lot like her father, a bit of a skeptic, she’s very attracted to all things “Mysterious”, because she can’t help “Feel” things.  I’m excited to see what kind of Adults they turn into, but one thing’s for sure.. being a Sensitive makes Sami very Creative and Arty and makes Anna a Dreamer.  She dreams almost as much as I do.

She once told me that my Mum came to see her.. It was wonderful.

All I can do as they grow up is guide them and help them accept their natural gifts, tune into their intuition, and not be afraid of the Unexplained, but embrace it – whether it comes from Observations or from within Themselves through Dreams and Visions.

I miss having someone to talk to about all of this.  Mom used to be my Lighthouse.  I hope to be my Childrens’.  That said, I wish Life would bring me someone to walk This Path with.

 

 

Friday, Nope Day.

 What a crazy day.

Usually, I’m all up for Crazy.  A handful of popcorn and I’m entertained.   Today though, I can’t be bothered.  I’m SO glad it’s Friday!

Weekends for me equal “No People”, which is my favourite type of day.  If I could find one, my Welcome Mat would say: Goodbye.

Funny thing, this reminds me of a discussion I had recently with someone who was telling me how great it is to have heaps of people running in and out of the house: Didn’t I think so?!  Uhm.

God, no.  Sounds awful.

Yes, Grumpy cat may or may not be my Patronus.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t count my family as People.  lol  They’re Mine.  My Monkeys, My Circus.  And hey, I like Monkeys! I want THEM around all the time.

The rest of the world is on a case-by-case basis. lol  Mostly though, no.

Regardless of the Crazy, today was pretty constructive and productive!  I got some work done on my Secret Mystery Project.  Actually, got 3 things entirely completed.  Matt and Anna both ‘tried it out’ and helped me perfect it.  So Awesome!

Anyway, thank god it’s Friday.  I need to refill my No-People Reserves as next week will be awful.  Even have Parent-Teacher meetings.

I need to dig a moat.  Could fill it with my garden hose.   But then, I’d also need a draw bridge,.. so Countdown can deliver the food.

Decisions, decisions.